My student, “Betty,” was arrested after
attending a Tone Lōc concert. She unknowingly wound up as a
passenger in an allegedly stolen vehicle. The next morning, I received
a phone call from Betty’s grandmother asking me to bail out her
granddaughter. After getting the cash from grandma, I went to the county jail
where the guard took me to a dim and dank holding cell. I was looking
all lawyerly with my blue pinstripe suit and sharp leather shoes and
briefcase. Another guard escorted Betty into the cell. Her hair was
disheveled, a stiletto was missing from one shoe, and she looked
frazzled.
I said: “Betty, we have two options, I could get you out of here now,
or” – as I reached into my briefcase – “right now, you can take the
Midterm Exam that you missed last week.”
Betty’s reaction?
“Get me the frick out of here!”
Ninety minutes after the exam commenced, Betty was set free.
I’ll let you judge for yourself how true the prior sentence is.
Always remember: It’s good to be the prof.
Excerpt (pages 83-84) Classroom LIGHTBULBS