Friday, June 5, 2009

It's Laugh, Think & Act. NOT Laugh, Act & Think!


Early morning last weekend, I was psyched to get on the road for a 5-hour drive to the beach. Everything was packed and all I had to do was load the car, as the restless wife, kids, and yes - mother-in-law - waited to pile in. So I opened the garage, popped up the SUV rear hatch and started loading. Suitcases. Boogie board. Food. Had it all. Running back and forth like a mad man, chucking stuff in. In the middle of loading, "Ugh," I exclaimed. Better pull out the car out of the garage so the mom-in-law can get in easily.

CRUNCH.

I forgot that the hatch was up, and the edge of it smacked into the lip of the garage door. Well, the car was fine but a roller on the door was knocked out of the rail. No biggie. Sit the mum-in-law back down, give the kids a toy and the wife a sedative. And I'll get the roller on the rail. So I roll it on the rail, only to discover that the other rail was knocked out of whack a drop. I tried my feeble best to fix it, but it was beyond my capabilities. Usually not a big deal -- just call the garage people and get it fixed, but we were out the door and hitting the road, so I needed to get the darn thing shut and deal with it upon our return.


I gingerly tweaked the rail with a screw driver. Plucked at it with some pliers. Nothing. Kids yelling, dog barking, I knew it was time to kick it into high gear. Wrenches flying. Bolts spinning. Still nothing. Metal pieces were getting stuck and wedged and getting worse. Time for the heavy artillery. I got the hammer and started wailing on the infringing metal. Five, ten minutes. Sweat pouring down. I was like a blacksmith with an anvil, smacking on a horseshoe for an impatient mare. Twenty minutes in, a huge crash brought that door down. Went inside and declared to all: "Piece of cake. Let's go!"

As we're pulling away, I start thinking. "Hmmmmmm, maybe I shouldn't have left my own car inside. What if we can't get the garage door fixed right away? I'll need to be shuttled everywhere in this kiddie mobile I'm driving. This really upset me, because I try to live by the motto of "Laugh, Think & Act through everyday situations." Instead, I went this route:

Laugh - I did find humor in my bonehead backup
Act - Mad man with a hammer
Think - It would be nice to have my own car next week

I tell this story because I like to point out my own shortcomings and hopefully find a lesson in it. It's easy to write down a catchy motto, but we need to remind ourselves to live by our messages each day. Just because it's in print, doesn't mean the messenger is so perfect. In fact, my book points out that "great words are far greater than the person who utter them, and the real hard work is putting those words into action." (page 125)

The good news -- I called the garage people from the beach, we got home yesterday, they fixed it today, and my car is out and FREE. Though the lesson wasn't. Cost me two bills for new material to incorporate into my next speaking engagement.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Borders Book Signing - Alpharetta/Suwanee, GA










Thank you again to Wanda, Jan, Steve, and the rest of the Borders staff for a fun day.

Many Upcoming Events, including:

Thursday, June 11, 2009 - 7:00pm-8:00pm
Ocee Library - Book Reading/Discussion
5090 Abbotts Bridge Road, Alpharetta, GA

September 5, 2009 (Time TBA) - Decatur Book Festival - Georgia Authors' Stage

The Decatur Book Festival is the largest independent book festival in the country and one of the five largest overall. Since its launch, more than 600 world-class authors and 190,000 festival-goers have crowded the historic downtown Decatur square to enjoy book signings, author readings, panel discussions, an interactive children's area, live music, parades, cooking demonstrations, poetry slams, writing workshops, and more.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Armed Banana robbery attempt fails in N.C.

Good story for the first day of class...

Authorities thwarted a guy who tried to rob a store with a banana, but ate it before police could arrive. The 17-year-old held the banana under his shirt when he entered the store, saying he had a gun and demanded money.


This caper reminds me of Woody Allen as inmate Virgil Starkwell, trying to make a prison break with a gun carved out of a bar of soap (Take the Money and Run, 1969). Woody should've looked up http://www.weather.com/ for chance of showers, as the gun turned to soap bubbles.

What's not funny: If this were Georgia and banana guy got convicted as an adult, he would face a MANDATORY MINIMUM of 10 years in prison (no more than 20 on a first offense). Here's part of Georgia's Armed Robbery statute:

Under Georgia Statute, a person commits the offense of armed robbery when, with intent to commit theft, he takes property of another from the person or immediate presence of another by use of an offensive weapon "or any replica, article, or device having the appearance of such weapon."

Virgil and Banana Guy's only viable legal argument - from Woody's 1971 movie, Bananas:
I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

From Rubber Rooms to Rubber Soles

I got to campus early today and saw a former student standing in a long line with friends and others - camping out in front of a store. "Concert tickets?," I asked. "U2? 40 Cent? (even 50 is downsizing in this economy)" "No." "Dorm room assignments? "Nah."

"Then what?"

"Yeezy."

"Wheezy? From The Jeffersons?"


According to my student, 24 pairs were delivered to this particular store. Anyone ever remember camping out for sneaks? I was afraid to ask the price, so I looked it up online...


Ouch. From Wikipedia: After years of work that West underwent in order to established himself as an artist, after dropping out of college to pursue his dream of becoming a musician, he emerged into the mainstream with his debut studio album. (The College Dropout is the debut album)
Kanye -- Are you footing this student's tuition in the Fall?

Monday, April 27, 2009

What is a "Smart Alec"?



In my Profile, I list that I'm a "Smart Alec" law professor. A wiseguy, a prankster, a troublemaker? For clarification, I turned to Wikipedia (so it must be true):
"The phrase "smart alec" arose from the exploits of Alec Hoag, a thief, and confidence man operating in New York City in the 1840s.

Yikes - I thought I was being smart!










Saturday, April 25, 2009

A Water Pik, a Window Display, a Book Bargain


What have we learned since February when UYRR first released?

1. UYRR readers have superior dental hygiene. An Amazon reader also purchased the Waterpik Ultra Dental Water Jet.
Yes, Jet.

2. How much is the bookie in the window?
On April 17, I found this in the "Used" section for Unlocking Your Rubber Room.......
$1,000.00 + $3.99 shipping Used - Very Good
Rating:91% positive over the past 12 months (13212 ratings.) 34335 lifetime ratings.
Shipping: In Stock. See Shipping Rates. See return policy. Comments: Very Good Condition - Satisfaction Guaranteed - May have been withdrawn from library circulation -- LIFTED FROM LIBRARY CIRC???
Realizing that the book appreciated too quickly (list price is $12.95), the seller quickly reduced the price to a more reasonable and modest...
$43.55 + $3.99 shipping
Any takers? Visit: http://tinyurl.com/cl94la

Friday, April 24, 2009

Your Rub-ber Room (noun)...

... A confining mindset where thoughts and possibilities bounce aimlessly.


Welcome to Unlocking Your Rubber Room - I'll post lessons from my book and new lessons learned along the way. The book offers a message of hope in difficult times: Everyone has to laugh, think and act through everyday situations. The things I emphasize are humor, passion, compassion and preparation.

From the back of the book...

In Unlocking Your Rubber Room, lawyer-turned-teacher Perry Binder offers 44 lessons which emphasize that preparation, passion, and compassion are the keys to unlocking our confining mindsets -- our figurative "rubber rooms." Perry's hilarious and original stories, like "Figure out if you are a 'Touch Wet Paint' person," are distilled from years of painstaking trials and errors. This book contains novel law tips, including how to get a lawyer to return your call, or which three items you must possess when dining out.


And its provocative anecdotes -– when to start a street fight and when to lay low in the weeds -- motivate you to laugh, think, and act through everyday situations. Knowing how to work the legal system opens doors to solving your personal and professional dilemmas. Ultimately, Unlocking Your Rubber Room inspires you to be adventurous, take risks, and learn new things about yourself -- just as the author confesses he discovered when writing this book.